So your getting Worked…
by LockDown on Jul.13, 2009, under Gears of War Guides
Learn to Cope
So your playing your favorite Xbox Game(Gears of war 2) and your online and you just got worked. Now by worked I don’t mean it was close, and if you had another chance you would have got them! I mean this fight was one sided, you could have had a better chance smashing all of the buttons on the controller at once. Well it happens to all of us, some of us more than others, and I decided we need a method to calm down and not try and find the person and murder them.. or at least humiliate them somehow.
So lets go with why I looked into methods of chilling out and not going off. Well I consider myself somewhat savvy in gears and downright one of the best players around, however we will all meat our match, and I think I found one of them. Recently the GWA clan has turned to private matches as an alternative to the terrible online service (due to cheaters and lag) offered by EPIC. Well it was there I realized that you could analyze true skill in people. I have found that xGWAx NOOBiNATR is better than me, or atleast he was last night.
Now I’ve always given props to NOOBiNATR for his ability to snipe a fly miles away, but i thought hey it stops there right? Last night I was thoroughly worked by him. The first few times I said to myself “damn this can’t be skill, all luck!” Then on a map i considered as a holy land for me and ShutDown (since we rarely lose on it) Well I can’t remember if we lost, but I know for damn sure just to slow NOOBiNATR down on his spree to kill everything that moves, me and Shutdown made him our focus, no matter what he was it, and it didn’t even matter. He dispatched of pretty much anything that walked into his view. On all the maps we played running into NOOBiNATR I was dealt with quickly and mercilessly. He basically showed me which way was up, then sent me there with a headshot, or a blast from the Gnasher. I had a better chance trying to chainsaw him than fight directly LOL
So NOOBiNATR you got me you worked me so hard i had to find a way to cool down(I hate to lose) or I would go off. Now Its not NOOBiNATR’s fault but I know at the moment I would have been so frustrated he would have been my target… So instead of yelling at friends for no good reason I made this list.
THINGS TO CALM YOU DOWN!!!
- Drink some caffeine and eat a tasty snack
- Deep breaths
- Remind yourself theres always next time
- Remind yourself Playing against better people will eventually make you better
- Stretch
- Take a break and watch some tv
- Make jokes about them cheating
- Make jokes about their life (apoligize)
- Blame the developers
- Take a shower
- Browse The GWA site.
- Go complain to somewho who cares
- Have your significant other massage you(happy endings rock)
THINGS NOT TO DO!!
- Yell at your friend over a game
- Hit anything
- Break your game disk
- Troll the GWA site forums
- Blame Canada
- Ensure everyone that their(the person owning you) penis is smaller because they play this game too much
- Do anything criminal
- Throw anything heavy(pillows rock, watch the fish bowl)
- Blame the Chairmen/Generals for not teaching you the secret Techniques of NOOBiNATR’s guide to Goddliness
- Use any slurs of any kind on friends
- Sell the game
- Break your console/Controller
- Resort to cheating.. especially against friends
- Remove friends for being better than you
So basically NOOBiNATR you fucked me up and I had to write an article to help people you fuck up around the world because man you have to be the cause of several wife beatings, arson attempts, and down right brutal boxing matches for anyone who plays gears. Nah man really good job, I don’t consider many people better than me at Gears(due to pride and skill) but you my friend are above me.
July 13th, 2009 on 7:03 pm
Best article you have ever written
July 13th, 2009 on 8:08 pm
Things to calm you down. Read this article, the laughter it causes will relieve any stress.
This is a great article.
I’ve only played with you guys once and never got to kill anyone(I blame lag not my horrible gaming skills), I’m just happy to play.
July 13th, 2009 on 8:47 pm
thank you for the recognition lockdown, we all get frustrated sometimes including me. We all know how it is and im sure most of us don’t take it personal for that reason. Shit happens right?
I used to play gears 1 like crazy during summers off school so I just have a shit ton of experience compared to most people, alot more than most people think I do based on my stats from gears 2, i may not be that high in rank conserning gears 2, just a hell of lot of time spent in gears 1 player matches. lol, i miss that game so much because of the lag issues concerning gears 2. ha
July 13th, 2009 on 11:30 pm
EVERYONE WHO PLAYS GEARS 2 NEEDS TO READ THIS, RIGHT NOW!!!
“Blame Canada” LMFAO
July 14th, 2009 on 12:11 am
LOL I love this article! I need to remember this, “FUCK ME” has sort of become my constant refrain when I die… I’ll try to stay calmer (I DIE A LOT)
July 14th, 2009 on 1:24 am
I’ve also realized that doing the “brain dead” technique can REALLY help with stress. It causes you to not care about anything. If you die, and your mad about it, start staring at your closest wall and think of a lot of random things, ie. Dogs, 360, Gears. Then, COMPLETELY STOP THINKING. And there you go. However, from the technique, do not expect your kills to go higher, as it will…well, make you not care.
I actually need to stop doing that…LOL.
July 14th, 2009 on 1:39 am
i try to zone out while playing i tend to play better like that, however my communication skills drop to 0… lol
July 14th, 2009 on 6:51 pm
this article was really helpful case i get mad all the time on gears
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