Gears of War Addicts

So your getting Worked…

by LockDown on Jul.13, 2009, under Gears of War Guides

Learn to Cope

Learn to Cope

So your playing your favorite Xbox Game(Gears of war 2) and your online and you just got worked. Now by worked I don’t mean it was close, and if you had another chance you would have got them! I mean this fight was one sided, you could have had a better chance smashing all of the buttons on the controller at once. Well it happens to all of us, some of us more than others, and I decided we need a method to calm down and not try and find the person and murder them.. or at least humiliate them somehow.

So lets go with why I looked into methods of chilling out and not going off. Well I consider myself somewhat savvy in gears and downright one of the best players around, however we will all meat our match, and I think I found one of them. Recently the GWA clan has turned to private matches as an alternative to the terrible online service (due to cheaters and lag) offered by EPIC. Well it was there I realized that you could analyze true skill in people. I have found that xGWAx NOOBiNATR is better than me, or atleast he was last night.

Now I’ve always given props to NOOBiNATR for his ability to snipe a fly miles away, but i thought hey it stops there right? Last night I was thoroughly worked by him. The first few times I said to myself “damn this can’t be skill, all luck!” Then on a  map i considered as a holy land for me and ShutDown (since we rarely lose on it) Well I can’t remember if we lost, but I know for damn sure just to slow NOOBiNATR down on his spree to kill everything that moves, me and Shutdown made him our focus, no matter what he was it, and it didn’t even matter. He dispatched of pretty much anything that walked into his view. On all the maps we played running into NOOBiNATR I was dealt with quickly and mercilessly. He basically showed me which way was up, then sent me there with a headshot, or a blast from the Gnasher. I had a better chance trying to chainsaw him than fight directly LOL

So NOOBiNATR you got me you worked me so hard i had to find a way to cool down(I hate to lose) or I would go off. Now Its not NOOBiNATR’s fault but I know at the moment I would have been so frustrated he would have been my target… So instead of yelling at friends for no good reason I made this list.

THINGS TO CALM YOU DOWN!!!

  • Drink some caffeine and eat a tasty snack
  • Deep breaths
  • Remind yourself theres always next time
  • Remind yourself Playing against better people will eventually make you better
  • Stretch
  • Take a break and watch some tv
  • Make jokes about them cheating
  • Make jokes about their life (apoligize)
  • Blame the developers
  • Take a shower
  • Browse The GWA site.
  • Go complain to somewho who cares
  • Have your significant other massage you(happy endings rock)

THINGS NOT TO DO!!

  • Yell at your friend over a game
  • Hit anything
  • Break your game disk
  • Troll the GWA site forums
  • Blame Canada
  • Ensure everyone that their(the person owning you) penis is smaller because they play this game too much
  • Do anything criminal
  • Throw anything heavy(pillows rock, watch the fish bowl)
  • Blame the Chairmen/Generals for not teaching you the secret Techniques of NOOBiNATR’s guide to Goddliness
  • Use any slurs of any kind on friends
  • Sell the game
  • Break your console/Controller
  • Resort to cheating.. especially against friends
  • Remove friends for being better than you

So basically NOOBiNATR you fucked me up and I had to write an article to help people you fuck up around the world because man you have to be the cause of several wife beatings, arson attempts, and down right brutal boxing matches for anyone who plays gears.  Nah man really good job, I don’t consider many people better than me at Gears(due to pride and skill) but you my friend are above me.

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